Scripture reference: Ephesians 6:2

The Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to share my faith with teenage boys from time to time. I always enjoy the excitement and imagination of those in early puberty. Their mind and emotions, being tossed in a wild sea of sudden growth and change, always present challenging ideas and questions. One troubling questions that arises as a result of the evil age we live in is this. Why should I honor and respect my father or my mother when he/she is an alcoholic, a drug addict, adulterous, abusive, or in prison? Am I really commanded by God to respect and honor someone sitting in prison for the crime of raping a child or killing a man in a bar fight? Surely the behavior of my parent exempts me from this command.

The answer to this question, as with all difficult questions of real life, can be found in the scriptures. If we read and study the Bible carefully we can find instructions for every situation we face in life today. And this one is no different. What we need to do is break it down to its basic spiritual elements. Those are: faithful obedience in God, trusting in His wisdom; receiving the power of His unconditional love and grace by allowing it to flow through us to others; forgiving others as He forgives us; leading others to repentance with exhortations and teachings as God leads us. Once we examine this question in the light of these basic principles of Christianity, the answer becomes clear.

In 1 Samuel 15:9-23 the Lord instructs us on just how strongly He values obedience to Him above all else, especially our ideas of what is proper. God does not accept our reasons for behaving in a manner which is not in compliance with his commands. He sees failure to obey Him as rebellion against His will. And in 1 Samuel 15:23 we are told by God through His prophet, Samuel, that "rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry." (KJV) Therefore, to disobey the Lord's command to honor your father and your mother, regardless of what you may think are acceptable reasons, is seen by God as rebellion against Him, and is the same as the sin of idolatry. Why is it idolatry? Because you are putting man's ideas and values before God. You are saying that you will follow man's ways rather than God's. And to put anything before God is idolatry. For you truly worship that which is most important to you. And if you say that man's ideas in the matter of a sinful parent are more important to you than God's commandment, then you are committing idolatry.

Jesus gives us instructions on forgiveness in his example of how we should pray. We are told in Matthew 6:12 that we should ask God to "forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." This is Jesus' way of telling us that if we expect God to forgive us the debt we owe Him in payment for our sins, we must, likewise, forgive the debt owed by others who have harmed us. "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14-15 KJV) Jesus makes it clear that their is a direct connection between our willingness not to consider the offenses of others, and God's willingness to forget our offenses.

We are also instructed that we should "judge not, that ye be not judged." (Matthew 7:1 KJV) This is reflected in the statement made by Paul when he said, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23 KJV) None of us is pure and without blemish. We are all equally stained with sin the eyes of God. Therefore, failure to obey God's commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee," (Genesis 20:12 KJV) is a sin no different from any other sin in the eyes of God. In this we must remember what God has told us by saying, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." (Isaiah 55:8 KJV)

Something that is necessary for all of us to remember is what Jesus told his disciples when he sent them out on their own. "Freely ye have received, freely give." (Matthew 10:8 KJV) In this way Jesus implores us to freely give to others the same grace and love we have freely received from God. And it is important to notice that Jesus does not put any conditions on this instruction. We are to freely give grace to all without exception. For this is precisely what God does. He gives His grace to all without regard for how stained with stain any might be. And we are to follow His example, if we truly live in Christ.

Finally, we need to remember that we instruct others about the teachings of Jesus and the grace of God by how we live. When we obey God's commands, and show to others the same love He shows us, we proclaim boldly that Jesus is real, and God is faithful and true. Your public life and the way you treat others could be the only Bible a lost father or mother will read. By trusting God's wisdom rather than man's, you become the conduit through which the Holy Spirit can reach out to the lost sheep your Father wants to find. Through your obedience, even when it is hard and does not make sense to men, you receive the power of God to change men's hearts. In this way, we can change the world; just as Paul changed the world with his witness.

The command to honor your mother and father really has nothing to do with them and their behavior. It is a matter of your relationship with God. The question is not about the worthiness of your father and mother, but of your willingness to obey your heavenly Father. Ultimately it is He who you honor with the honor and respect you give to whom men consider the least worthy of honor and respect. By doing that you will be greatly blessed by God for the honor and glory you give to Him.

May the grace of God, the love of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the peace of the Holy Spirit be with you. Amen.